最近、学位をとるという節目を迎えるにあたってか、長い目線で将来のことに思いを巡らすことが多くなりました。そんな中、こんな記事をネットで見つけました。
"The Top Five Regrets of the Dying"
つまり、
「人生最後に抱く５つの後悔」です。
著者はBronnie Wareさんという方で、長い間、看護師として緩和ケアに携わってきた関係上、たくさんの人から最後の後悔の言葉を聞いてきた方らしいです。
自分くらいの年齢（３０前後）では、普段の生活でこんなことを考えることはありません。しかし私達も
明日死ぬ可能性はゼロではないわけで。そんなことを考えながらこの記事を読んでみると、色々考えさせられます。
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
「自分の心にもっと忠実に生きればよかった」
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
「あんなに一生懸命働かなくてもよかった」
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
「もっと素直に自分の気持ちを表す勇気を持てばよかった」
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
「もっと友人関係を大事にすればよかった」
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
「もっと自分を幸せにしてあげればよかった」
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
(万が一にも、なんか言われたら困るので一応宣伝もしときます。)
This post was originally published on Bonnie's Blogs. You can also buy the bonnie's book through the Bonnie Ware Official Site.
私自身、心当たりが有りすぎて、このままだと５つとも見事に達成してしまいそうです。個人的には悔いのない人生なんて無いと思います。（結局、コントロールがないわけで比べられないですもんね。）しかし、どっちの悔いを選ぶかは常に自分次第ですもんね。何気なく送っている日々の生活を、改める良い機会なのかもしれません。
ps
下記は、私の好きなジョブズが生前に残した有名な言葉です。
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like:
"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morninig and asked myself:
"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
(アバウトに訳すと、)
17歳のとき次のような一節を読みました。『
毎日を人生最後の日であるかのように生きていれば、いつか必ずひとかどの人物になれる』この言葉に私は感銘を受け、それ以来33年間毎朝鏡を見て自問しているのです。『
今日が人生最後の日だとしたら、私は今日する予定のことをしたいと思うだろうか』 そして「いいえ」が長く続くたびに、私は何かを変える必要があるなと、そう悟るわけです。
ジョブズは膵癌にかかるずっと前から、日々の生活の中で、朝一番に「鏡に問いかける」ことで自分を戒めるということを習慣づけていたわけです。彼は最後の日、何を思っていたのでしょうか。
